I've fallen. At least, that's what I think so.

Welcome to my blog! Feel free to comment, share, or whatever. My first language isn't english, so please do disregard any grammatical errors made. 

Through the nights -- I've dealt with the insufferable thoughts I kept deep within myself, overthinking everything I've ever felt for him. And now, I can't help but wonder, "Am I inlove?"

Over the past few months, my feelings have grown for him. You can even compare it to an open flower that's bloomed, corny, I know. I met this wonderful man recently -- and you guessed it, I fell. Almost instantly, I fear. Upon our first conversation, I could already tell that we were polar opposites. He's smart, well-liked, popular, and even extroverted. Me, on the other hand, possess the opposite of those. Up to this day, I still don't know whether I know enough or too little about him. Each spoken word we've exchanged don't exactly say much about the two of us.

Each day I used to wake up to would always have the lingering feeling of hatred at hurt in my heart. But ever since I met him, the unknown void was filled. He doesn't know any of this, and I hope it stays that way. He's my muse. My yellow, even. With him knowing about all of this, it'll be all gone. Gone within the blink of an eye. That's why for now, I'll be loving this boy silently. Maybe, when we're both older, I'll be able to tell him all of this without the paranoia of judgement. I just hope that one day -- he might be able to reciprocate what I feel. God, all I've feeling lately is my unreciprocated longing for him. Lest, all of this will come unnoticed till the end of my time.

Sometimes, when no one's around, I sit down underneath the evening sky and gaze upon the sunset simply because it reminds me of him. Yup, that's what I do in my free time during the day. At night, I stay up late dreaming about him by becoming a nerd and inducing hypnagogia to trigger either lucidness or just regular, plain ol' boring dreams. Hell, you could even say that he's driving me insane. Nothing else could compare to his beauty, though. So it's fair, right? To be honest, I wish I could tell him how gorgeous he is. Each, small, intricate detail about him makes him unique compared to others. I'm confident that in a sea of people, I could easily differentiate him from the rest of them.

Occasionally, he goes on his dump account on facebook to rant the shart out of his anger or sadness to cope with his current situation. I don't know what it is because up to this very day, he hasn't opened up to me fully. He still has issues trusting people, dear to him or not. He's imperfect. He has flaws he has to manage himself with great difficulty. But if you were to ask me -- I'm still going to let him into my heart regardless. If I could, I would tell him how much I want to be there for him. If he were to shatter into bits and pieces, I'd gladly be there to piece him whole. I don't want him to lose himself. There's nothing more I want than to comfort him when he feels depressed.

To conclude -- I'm still not sure what I feel about this man. I have no idea whether its limerence, infatuation, or true, genuine love. In my perspective, though, I am. The feeling of it all is no longer overwhelming, it feels more natural compared to before. I'm too young for this, after all. It's not too common for folks to see a random teenage girl this age fall inlove like she's in a romance movie. Who knows? Maybe years from now -- I'll still be here writing a blog about him while giggling and kicking my legs like a freak.